May 17, 1907
1907, as now, was full of drunken suicidal maniacs in the thrall of homicidal rage. True, there are some differences now as opposed to then: opium was a lot easier to get. Divorces, less so.
H. A. Lyon, 70, met a 26-year-old Swedish girl by the name of Alva and, after knowing her a scant two weeks, married her. She went on to burn all the pictures of his first wife, and all the letters he had kept. Then Alva began to burn all of his incoming mail, especially those missives from his children; she consigned their pictures to the flames as well. Moreover, she forbade him to go to church. These troubles brought on two heart attacks which H. A. survived, and which convinced him he’d had enough.
He therefore went before Judge Monroe to confess his mistake (Alva was not present, having gone on a short trip back to Sweden and only returned to the States as far as New York).
Unfortunately for our hero, the Judge intoned from the bench: “They couldn’t live together and she left him. Apparently he was very glad to have her go, and gave her the money to take her away. A divorce cannot be granted in this case, under the law, and I’m very glad it can’t be.”