1947 Project

Cheap Thrills

ten dollar car headline

June 25, 1927
Los Angeles

Johnston car

Mr. H. Johnston has just completed a nine day journey along the National Old Trails Highway from Los Angeles to Philadelphia. Amazingly, he made the cross-country trip in his $10 dollar 1919 Ford! His total expenses, including gasoline, meals, lodging, and one minor $3 repair to the Ford was a miserly $55 ($657.31 USD 2007).

Impressive? Absolutely! But, future dwellers, while we shake our heads in wonderment at how inexpensive it was to live in 1927 America, let’s put on our time travel goggles and look at this feat from a different perspective.

If Mr. H. Johnston went out today and purchased an entry level 2007 Toyota Prius ($22,175.00) it would cost him $265,015.46 in 1927 dollars. Gasoline for the hybrid would take a bite out of his budget to the tune of about $35.83 per gallon!

Nine nights at a Motel 6 (at $69.99 per night) would set Mr. Johnston back a whopping $7,528.14. And that’s if he didn’t rent any movies. At these prices he may lose his appetite, but a man has to eat. Let’s give Mr. Johnston a total food budget of $45 to visit a drive-thru of his choice once each day – that translates into $537.80 in current dollars for burgers, fries and sodas.

Get out your calculators and we’ll do a back-of-the-envelope estimate for Mr. Johnston’s trek in the strange 2007 time machine. The nine day vacation would now cost him approximately $275,052.25.

Your mileage may vary.

She Threw Herself Into the Part

fistsoffury

eileen basil June 24, 1927
Hollywood

Yeah, she threw herself into the part. She could throw a mean left cross too, apparently. In fact she went so nuts she broke several straw hats and mussed up the hair of several spectators and managed to bust the nose, teeth, and blacken the eye of some ponce named Basil Webb.

She is Eileen Sedgwick, and she was portraying an excited Swedish servant girl, cheering the home town team in Metro’s Slide, Kelly, Slide. And now she stands shoulder to shoulder to shoulder with Metro and the United States Fidelity and Guaranty Company, as Basil bemoans his condition before Referee Crowell of the State Industrial Accident Commission.

We are beguiled by the fetching Ms. Sedgwick! Mr. Webb should consider himself lucky to have be walloped by so charming a creature.

Chicken Tonight

June 24, 1927
Monterey Park

Yeacio Tavary, Isa Magana and Daniel Garcia were brought before Police Judge F. F. Guaiano today on charges of stealing chickens. It seems last night officer T. J. Neal discovered the gentlemen in an automobile in the hills south of Monterey Park, along with empty sacks with feathers stuck to them, and a headless chicken.

The defendants pleaded not guilty, and to explain the presence of the chicken-in-question, one testified: “The chicken was hopping along the road with its head off and jumped into our car.” The others corroborated his statement.

The judge thought it was a good story, but not quite good enough to keep the trio out of jail for ten days.

Great Mysteries of Life

June 23, 1927
Ventura

Fishermen Beryl Adams and Al Huston returned from the waters off Santa Cruz island with something other than tasty comestible cod today, as they had in tow what their salty sea-dog buddies down at the shanty will no doubt label a fish story…for the catch of the day is: embalmed corpse.

Seems that bobbing along in the brine was a casket—constructed by Springfield Metallic Co., who furnish such boxes to the government, as opposed to the window’d copper containers favored by civil undertakers—containing a rather well-embalmed gentleman, the only hints to his identity being a necktie bearing the seal of “Lyons, France” and a suit of clothes made by J. Brownstone Company, New York. Meager clues they, the other clues of note being the corpses’ flowing beard and large aristocratic moustache.

Coroner Reardon is working with the Naval Office at San Pedro but there has yet to be a break in the case, despite, or likely because of, there being every earmark of international espionage.

Headless Chicken Hitchhikes in Monterey Park!

headless chicken headline

June 25, 1927
Monterey Park

The latest version of the old riddle, “Why did the chicken cross the road”, debuted today in Judge P.F. Guaiano’s courtroom. It fell flat.

While cruising his regular beat in the hills south of Monterey Park, Officer T.J. Neal eyeballed some shady looking characters in an automobile. The lawman resolved to have a look, and after further investigation he discovered three men, a decapitated chicken and three empty sacks with feathers stuck to them. Arriving at the obvious conclusion that the poultry had been pinched, Neal demanded an explanation for the beheaded bird. The suspects related a story so improbable it left the cop scratching his head in disbelief.

According to the men, Yeacio Tavary of Downey, Isa Magana of Belvedere, and Daniel Garcia of Los Angeles, they had been out for a drive when they spied a headless chicken running amok through the countryside. Imagine their surprise when, without warning, the frenzied fowl dashed up to their car and jumped in!

What were they to do? The bird possessed no identification, which ruled out returning it to its rightful owner. After a brief confab, the trio had decided to keep the bird and had been on their way to cook the obliging entree when they were rousted.

Officer Neal hadn’t believed the fantastic tale of the hitchhiking chicken, and apparently neither had Judge Guaiano who mused “Chickens are not that foolish”, and ordered the defendants to spend ten days in the slammer.

Cough Syrup Fiend

June 22, 1927
Los Angeles

Ranch dweller Grace Haynes was in divorce court today, seeking her freedom from husband Amos on grounds of extreme cruelty.

He didn’t abuse her, per se, but she claimed to be terrorized by his habit of knocking back bottles of high-octane cough syrup, after which he’d commence to ranting and raving before wandering out to the pig pen and beating holy hell out of their swine herd. And that can’t be good for the pork chops.

Amos denied the accusation, countering that he’d be happy to take Grace back if she’d just stop running around all night. A fascinated Judge Bowron continued the case to hear more the next morning, but the papers failed to report if Amos was delusional or Grace an imaginative liar, and whether or not the pigs turned up seeking damages.

Sooooo-ey!

Not So Meek

June 21, 1927
Pasadena

"Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen." -Raymond Chandler

Subject to what was described as "a subtle malady," Mrs. Katherine Dwyer, 50, stocky, determined, crept up behind husband George, Pacific Electric Railway gateman, as he stood at the kitchen sink eating his lunch at 184 Carlton Street, and neatly drew a razor ’round his throat.

Dwyer’s gurgling drew the attention of housekeeper Miss Slade, who called George Spiegel of #146 for aid. Together they wrestled the blade away from Mrs. Dwyer, Miss Slade gaining a slash to the scalp for her trouble. Policeman A.O. Boyd arrived as the second victim was attacked, and promptly signed an insanity complaint, sending the lady the psychopathic ward of General Hospital.

George Dwyer may die. The couple had quarreled about their daughter, and Mrs. Dwyer, while never previously violent, had been treated for mental problems in the past.

Slow News Day

June 20, 1927

As long as there are newspapers, the following pieces will appear annually in them, although usually not all in one day:

poorolddad 1. The overall quality of fathers and the celebration of their designated holiday has diminished (generally found in letter to the editor form).

2. Worrying about sleep deprivation is probably depriving you of sleep.

3. While you read this newspaper, your baby is almost certainly choking to death on toys.

4. The French are weird, but also somehow better than us.

Calling All Mediums!

Los Angeles
June 19, 1927

The magician Hardeen has issued a $10,000 challenge to the local spiritualist community: all they need to do is produce a single genuine message from his brother, Harry Houdini, the internationally renowned exposer of fake mediums who passed away last October 31st. Hardeen, who appears this week at the Hillstreet Theatre, told reporters that about a year ago he and Houdini made a pact with a third brother, William, as the latter lay dying. Four secret words (or six; today’s reports varied) would be communicated from the beyond by the first brother to cross over the great divide. Thereafter nary a peep was heard from William, and while Houdini’s great and mysterious powers might have been expected to aid him in drawing back the curtain between life and death, no message from him has yet been received. This contradicts a recent claim by the Egyptian fakir Hamid Bey; apparently this message contained none of the secret words agreed upon by the brothers. Indeed, Hardeen says he will award the $10,000 to anyone who can produce a communiqué containing only one or two of these. Not that Hardeen is expecting to hear from either Houdini or William any time soon: "None of us believe[d] in spiritualism," he confided.

How Far Will These Modern Artists Go?

June 17, 1927
Imperial Valley

People often ask, but Nathan, what of that builder of readymades, Dada Queen, and muse of Duchamp, Baroness Else von Freytag-von Loringhoven? Didn’t she suicide in 1927?

carwreck

I can’t say that this piece of action art, now lost, carries the hand of the master, but I can’t rule it out either. Further investigation is necessary.